Thursday, October 22, 2009


Auburn sucks.

Seriously, no one buys your mascot bs. Pick one. Pick between Eagles or Plainsmen, the nickname you idiots started with. The name you gave your school paper and to your new baseball park. Hell, go with the bird, you already have one and you have a cheer/catchphrase already. If you wanted to be the Tigers, you'd have one, like we do. But you're all too dumb for something even that simple, so you have a bird you named after another animal. I have a big bad black labrador retriever and some people suggested the name Bear when I got him. I rejected that. Why? Because it's indescribably stupid to name one animal after another. If you don't want to pick, then I will call you the Chopblockers. That one fits best of all anyway.

Anyone who smokes cigars on someone else's field deserves contempt. Yes, I still remember that. Why? Cause you're the only assholes that have EVER done that ANYWHERE in college football. You're also the only school that had a football player lose a fight to a band member on the field. He started the fight because he was on the field kicking WHILE THE BAND WAS PERFORMING. No one I know has ever seen that happen. It's like you try to stand out in unexplored fields of creative idiocy and looking stupid.

Yeah, maybe we burned your barn down. Whoopdedoo. I wish we burned down the whole campus. I would say the state. But it's nice having Alabama always rank 50th in whatever matters and keep Louisiana from the bottom spot. So thanks.

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